This is going to seem so cliched but what I needed most was to find someone that loved me for me and wasn't going to go anywhere, to find someone that was going to stay with me no matter what, and I know that I need to find that within myself, but first I need to have someone to believe in and this was going to be my path and I have found it god. While I cant rely on someone for happiness he can fill the void that is missing with in myself, god isn't going to go anywhere, he watches from above and I don't believe in the bible I just like the idea of someone who loves you and created you and is going to be there for you no matter where you go. The truth is I need to replace Chris with someone else out there, that I can devote all my love to and will never leave.
I feel better but call me crazy there is so much negative things in my life, and I sin so often it is time to let myself be free and forgive myself past sins. So that I can move on to the future, I need to stop living in the past life, to move on to the future. The shower will symbolise the change I will move on from Chris completely and think only of my future. because it is time to remove myself from the sins, I fall through the same paths again and again and while right now I feel good about myself, the truth is this may not last, but of now, it is time to take control of my life, and start thinking of me. Not him. because he doesn't matter anymore. It is time to cut him out of my life and stop caring entirely, only I can help myself, and only I can be free on my own. Love life, love me, be free.
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