Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes

Once again, I am avoiding my cellphone so that I don't get let down due to a lack of texts, part of me keeps convincing myself I should look with hypothetical situations that would be a terrible idea to miss, such as him getting depressed again and wanting to talk to me, not that he talks to me about that in the first place so that is not going to be the case. Another would be him thinking that I was angry at him and him freaking out, but then I remember that is me, and he has never and will never show that if he feels it at all, because I don't know that he really cares that much. Not that I mean that in a mean way, no obviously I don't mean it like that at all, because I know he cares, he is just very very good at distracting himself, and a lot of that is through his passion. The truth is, if I felt more secure about myself, I wouldn't even be worried I guess the thing he keeps saying is that he shouldn't need to make me feel better while I'm stuck thinking its true, and I guess right now I do need that, but I still wish you would say, 'Betty I care about you, i am here for and I am not angry at you' that would go a long way, but in actuality he isn't the person to that. He isn't a very big texter and what he is up to at the moment, is making him really down, so a mixture of him feeling down and him trying to distract himself, means there is little time left over for me. Infant I know for a fact that if I wanted to hang out, we would, because he seems much more willing to hang out in person then he is to text me, I guess, in person i am more of a distraction, (this much he has said) then I am over text. So really I am once again over thinking this, because I lack confidence in myself. So the real issue is not a silly boy not telling me he cares and replying to my texts but more me feeling insecure at the idea he could get bored of me and move on. I keep going over the same things again and again and it gets old and tiresome. at what point do I stop freaking out over little thing. Everything with Chris keeps going around and around in circles, its good it bad and then its good again, and the common factor is me getting caught up in my head, so while I understand that this isn't about him this is about me, I still have to grow up and not fear looking at my phone to see if he has replied. But right now, there is nothing I want more then for him to text me, for me to know that I was on his mind, even if it was just for a split second. And I get my hopes up overtime I check my phone, and I don't want them to get crushed, so I guess I check my phone when I have come to terms with the fact that he may not tex time back, because although he says other wise, this isn't my first rodeo and I know he's not okay and faking being down actually brings you down, and he will be trying to avoid it.