Accept change. It doesn't make you a different person.

I am writing this while listening to inspirational harry potter music.
A violin cover.
I will learn the violin, they say no time like the present, but well I feel that this particular present isn't actually a viable option, you know sitting in bed, at 8pm NZ time. Sometimes the present isn't the time to do it. Plus Violins are expensive, but right now I am saving up for a cell phone, next time I will be buying Violin and next year no matter I will begin lessons, through what ever school I am at. Doesn't matter which one its possible at all of them.

Speaking of which I should tell you about today. I didn't sit there stressing over anything, I finished chris' birthday present. :) Which is AWESOME. :) and makes me really happy. I didn't really hear much from him today but I Didn't mind it is important for me to have my own life and that life isn't going to be me sitting there hoping I get a text from anyone. Besides, today I downloaded more music, played sims, and just wasted a lot of time , but people are allowed to do that, days of studying should be dispersed with not studying days.

OKAY, honestly I woke up in a really depressed mood, and I know it was because I hadn't slept particularly well and didn't have any reason to be feeling down so I choose to be happy and it worked.

Is it not strange that after you have felt something when the moment passes you can no longer feel those emotions anymore, same with you cant think of those thoughts anymore, part of me cant stand that not know ing what I was thinking so I use to remind myself of it again and again now, now I need a break from my thoughts so I spend a lot of time making sure I don't remember them, not for long anyway, your thoughts aren't always meant and sometimes it's important to remember that your thoughts aren't always right, we think millions of thoughts everyday and a lot of them are complete bullshit and should be allowed to dictate your mood. Thats what I am learning anyway. ;P Its important to get to move on.

Right now there are no steps back, everything I do is a learning experience, when you set your mind to something you cant be expected to know how to do it instantly it is going to take some time, it is going to take some work and perseverance it is all learning, and that really is all we do out entire lives, everything we do is learning, everything we do is an experience, at some point you need to realise that you will spend the rest of your life changing and learning, you will spend the rest of your life adapting to what life throws at you, and the younger you realise that its important to have skills to help you with life rather then trying to ensure that your life goes the way you want it, the sooner you won't feel like you are fighting an up hill battle. The world changes and you change, the unexpected happens and a lot cant be undone. You life right now may go in one direction, but its easy to take a wrong turn and end up somewhere else, at first you may seem lost but eventually you will find your way even if it means getting to know where you are, instead of returning to what you know.

Dont think who you are now is who you will be for the rest of your life, change is healthy, change keeps you interesting, and even if you change, you will always be true to yourself.

I accept myself, I love myself and I forgive myself for the things I didn't know until I learnt.